Category Archives: Kids

Back-to-School, Back-to-Love

photo 5

Morning routine drawn, happy pictures taken and my bright, beautiful 5-year old headed off for her first day of Kindergarten. As my husband said on repeat as we drove him to work immediately following “That was big. Whatever just happened was really big”. And he is right in bigger ways than either of us could have expressed on that short drive.

You have a baby and in those moments when you are at a loss, when they are inconsolable and you are beyond sleep deprived in some other orbit from the rest of the world, you find yourself longing for the first day of school when someone, anyone other than you, will be in their attendance for 8 hours at a time.

In many ways, I knew she wouldn’t cry or fuss on the first day. She was too darn excited. Four days earlier she actually had a meltdown because school had not started yet. Other than a ‘shy moment’ when we introduced ourselves to the school principal, she slid onto that blue kindergarten carpet without issue. Just a few feet away I was using all my effort to hold back the water in my eyes and kept wishing to drop my sunglasses on my face so as to not distract her with my own flooding emotions.

A lot has happened since she graduated from preschool a few months ago and the result has left her relatively unaware while I am still in recovery. It started when she had a seizure in May that lead to an ER visit. “Febrile seizures” they said, followed by: “Chances are she may never have another. Just make sure to reduce her fever when she is sick.”

We went home and life continued almost entirely unaltered other than a story to tell about the horror of watching your child go from simply sick to seizing followed by a hysterical ambulance ride and how touched we were by the supportive community that rose up to help us. We told the story from a place of relief– chances are she may never have one again. That phrase helped me sleep at night with her blissfully in the other room.

photo 4

But, that phrase was not for our family. Within a few weeks, she had another seizure. This time it was without a fever although that arrived a few hours later. Basically, instead of a fever indicating she may get a seizure, the seizure was the warning of a nasty bug that lasted over a week. Then she had another seizure in the middle of the night a few hours after we returned from the ER. That was how our summer began.

I was undone. Suddenly, my semi-lax parenting style that I felt allowed her plenty of space to grow and my lack of concern when she got sick hey- it helps build her immune system, right!? were tossed out the window. I felt hyper-aware of everything, completely on top of her and uncomfortable with myself much less our relationship.

The following weeks of summer followed suit as I spent more time with my children, yet in a state of anxiety and fear. Attempting to do whatever next thing I could think of to keep her from another seizure or to distract myself from the awful feeling inside. While she didn’t have another one during the summer, it was hardly because of my worry and stress.

Then we went on a trip. A big one for us. Two and a half weeks that involved flying across the country to drive up and down the East Coast. In the first eight days, we drove for six. Typically about 2-3 hours per day that we attempted to overlap with our toddler’s nap, but we started learning the hard lesson that small children aren’t nearly as motivated to sit blissfully looking out at scenery listening to self-help books on tape as we were. Our love of road-tripping that shaped our 20’s and early 30’s was vanishing fast.

Did I mention, throughout it I was an emotional mess? Everything felt big and wrong and icky. Tantrums from either child felt larger than I could bear. And every transition from car to house to car to hotel was more dramatic than it needed to be. I attempted to relax on the days that were ‘relaxing’ but threats to my children seemed all around. Watching my daughter in the pool, with her new love of putting her head underwater had me sitting on standby with eyes locked on her every twitch, ready to rescue her. I had never felt this way and suddenly my empathy for the helicopter parenting style soared. I was torturing myself.

At the end of our time in the Poconos, we planned one more trip around the lake on Great Grandpop’s Golf Cart that my children were obsessed with. My daughter ran into the cabin where I had been packing and said “Mama- we want YOU to drive the Golf Cart”. Half teasing, I said “Oh, I have never driven a Golf Cart before. Should I be nervous?”

Her wide eyes looked up at me and with a slight giggle she said:

“Mama, YOU can feel anyway you want.”

photo 2 (1)At that moment, I was no longer looking at my child, but rather an angel with a specific message. YOU CAN FEEL ANYWAY YOU WANT. I knew I wasn’t nervous about driving a Golf Cart, I was nervous something would happen to this sweet girl in front of me who was walking around with a piece of my heart inside of hers. Her words shot through my entire being and I suddenly felt willing to heal from our summer. Willing to feel something other than fear. I craved feeling the joy she clearly held and I finally let her love infect me.

That was the first step, opening up to feeling differently, feeling better. Then a couple of days later my husband and I had one of those ‘serious’ should we invest a chunk of change in my business or not conversations and somewhere in there it came out that I was blaming myself for our daughter’s seizures. That I couldn’t control them. That I failed to keep her safe.

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As the words poured out, I didn’t realize the truth they had held deep within me. My husband grabbed me and said “It was not your fault.” over and over until I was a puddled of tears letting all the self-blame come spilling over.

The logical side of me knew that I didn’t cause her to be sick, much less cause her to seize. In the moment of each seizure I had risen to the occasion in the best way I could, pulled together and present for her shaking yet stiff body as I frantically whispered to her I am with you and please come back to me. Eventually, her body would crumble into my arms both of us defeated. Meanwhile, that ego-based creature deep within gnawing at my soul that wants to control everything, told me something false: I had failed my child. With my husband’s words, I felt the next step. I was starting to let go. It was not my fault. 

playing + building sandcastles

Playing + building sandcastles

Soon after our ‘big trip’ finally became a vacation as we found ourselves with toes deep in the sand, the sun drenching us as we played in the ocean or pool together. We experienced a place we never knew existed with inviting warm water, blindingly white beaches and the perfect balance of breeze. The rawness was slowly washing away and I found myself a layer deeper, somehow exfoliated by emotions that had spent the summer overwhelming me.

Returning home to the back-to-school countdown, I finally felt refreshed and ready to deal with whatever the new year has in store.

Will my daughter have a seizure again? Maybe. Maybe not.

Will she be in a school that will take care of her and will do their best for her if she has a seizure? Yes.

Will she get sick? Probably.

Will I blame myself? I hope not, because that will mean I once again am trying to control the uncontrollable.

photo 1 (1)

Letting the sun warm my sweet toddler and I as we sailed around.

Dropping my daughter at school that first day was very different than I anticipated just a few months ago. Our summer brought lessons of letting go, releasing self-blame and allowing love to win. I hope to remember these lessons throughout the next 13 years of her education, because as my sweet angel told me I can feel anyway I want.    

With Love,

Lilly

What a Mama really wants + Strawberry Almond Lentils

Strawberry Lentil Salad

When you dive into the world of being a mom there is a lot of on the job training. I attempt to keep a routine, but if your children are anything like mine they spend most of their time throwing wild cards your way. Fortunately, their distractions are often cute, sweet + lovable, it is all about balance right? Keeping a schedule is a splendid idea that has helped me in many ways, but I have noticed it must have the flexibility to be completely scratched or overhauled at a moment’s notice.

At home, I have created a few strategies to allow me a bit more peace and sanity. The first is that my husband and I have a completely nerdy weekly meeting. This has lead to some big changes for us. First, we have started to climb our way out of debt as we spend time every week talking about where our money is coming and going. We still have a winding road ahead of us, but for the first time in our relationship we feel in the driver seat of our finances, not the other way around.

With this mini-success, we found ourselves eager to tackle other elements of our life. Simply knowing what is going on with our shared calendar has led to less surprises throughout our week. That all being said, what excites me the most is that we actually talk about our meal plan for the week, too.

Since starting the meal planning service, I usually create new meals + recipes on a regular basis. Because of this, I have often let the creativity of the ingredients and my whimsy lead me on a daily basis. This is my happy place. However, with two children taking turns craving my attention, this has lead to more frustration than not… for all of us. Basically, I have historically been the cliche: the cobbler who’s children have no shoes. I haven’t always meal planned for my family. Yup, kind of embarrassing considering my line of work.

By making my spouse an accountability partner things have changed around here. Our meals are more lovely and coherent. Our children get fired up about dinner (although, let’s be real- not exactly every time, they are wild cards, people!). But, the biggest thing is that I feel more sane and calm. When dinner finally arrives I can actually sit, dine and enjoy my favorite people and munch on some really good food. And one final secret- I don’t always follow the meal plans exactly, (which makes my untamable creative side very happy) but just having a starting point has made our dining experience more realistic, predictable, and enjoyable.

With Mother’s Day around the corner, I have been thinking, isn’t that what most of us mamas want? A little calm? A little more sanity? A bit more relaxing- hey, I love you and all of your wild cards- time with our family?

Considering my own motherly cravings, I have started to uncover ways to make Lilly’s Table embrace the mama lifestyle. I have always been excited about what I create on Lilly’s Table, but I have recently been working very hard to create a program that I hope every mom will love up as you enjoy meal plans that work with your schedule that are built around the seasons, veggies and everything you and your family love. I will be sharing a bit more this month, but put June 1st on your calendar for a whole lot of meal planning fun.

Me and my sweet girl who turns five on Mother's Day!

As I get my ducks in a row, I would greatly appreciate hearing from YOU! Whether you support a mom or are a mother yourself, what do YOU need in order to get a beautiful, seasonal meal on the table every night?

Finally, I am giving the first 20 mamas who sign up for service between now and Mother’s Day the first two months for free. Become a member today and you will be the first to hear about the exciting new changes on Lilly’s Table! Simply use this promo code: wmwfmd.

Of course, I do not want to leave you without a recipe to try. I originally made this recipe for my daughter’s first birthday. She is turning five on Mother’s Day and I am thrilled to be sharing this ‘day I became a mama’ with her. I made the Strawberry Almond Lentils again just the other day and was actually surprised by how few steps and ingredients there were. This toss of lentils is perfect for the sad slightly shrinking strawberries that I find myself pulling out of the back of the fridge wondering how such little sweethearts could have been shoved to the back like that. Who would dare do such a thing? (Please note, I am most likely to be blamed, I get a bit wild when the kitchen muse arrives.)

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Strawberry Lentil Salad

1 cup dry lentils, french, green or beluga
1 cup almonds, raw + whole
1 1/2 cups strawberries
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon honey, optional or your favorite sweetener
5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 stalks celery, (or chard stalks, or carrots or sweet peppers)
4 green onions, finely minced

Rinse and pick through the lentils. Bring the lentils up to a boil with at least three times the amount of water. Depending on the size of the lentil (tiny red are faster than the larger brown, green or french variety) boil for 15-45 minutes. When the lentil is tender to the bite it is done. Try not to over cook since this is essentially a salad and you don’t want it to be mushy.

Whisk together the vinegar, honey, salt & pepper. Slowly whisk in the olive oil to emulsify. Add the lentils to the dressing as soon as possible to marinate slightly.

Roughly chop the whole almonds into bits and pieces. Spread on a baking sheet and toast at 375 for about 5-10 minutes. Watch them carefully and stir periodically. They can go from raw to burnt very quickly.

Next, wash the strawberries and chop into small pieces. Mince the celery or any other veggies such as carrots or chard stalks.

Gently toss the lentils with the minced almonds, strawberries, celery and green onions.

Serve warm or cooled as a salad.

Creamy Grilled Peach Pasta Salad

grilled peach pasta overhead shot

This recipe is a mouthful of a name, but in reality it is just a toss of yogurt dressing, pasta, caramelized onions and my favorite fruit for grilling: peaches. I realize peach season is rapidly coming to a close, but this is the recipe to try when you have some funky sad looking peaches that need to be a bit more revived into some goodness.

This pasta salad came to existence when long time Lilly’s Table subscriber and uber-talented photographer Lynn Townsend did the best swap ever with me.

You see, last year, Santa decided I needed a new camera. While I fully understand that a camera does not make a good photographer, I was secretly hoping for dramatic improvements in my photos. Certainly in many ways the photos were getting better, but it became clear I needed someone to hold my hand a bit more as this camera was a lot to figure out.

Earlier last year, Lynn photographed our darling sweet boy as an infant and us, too. Recently, I asked if she would be interested in a cooking lesson in exchange for a photography lesson, she did not hesitate to say yes.

It was such fun! We started by caramelizing onions. Then we made Socca (a recipe I promise will be coming sooner rather than later). And we made these Zucchini Meatball Skewers. Juliette came and assisted with the yogurt dressing for the pasta salad. Then we grilled up the peaches. I hope Lynn picked up a few tricks, because she was so generous with all that she shared with me including a handy-dandy list of notes that I am keeping in my kitchen for reminders.

zucchini meatball skewers

It also made me realize how I really could use a few extra hands to manage making dinner, photographing dishes, setting the table, bouncing light, figuring out the shadows and more. With any luck, I might be able to start training the four year old to be my photography assistant. 😉

At least this pasta salad is simple enough. It is recipes such as these that keep my family happy and my sanity in check. Lately, I have had a rule goal of starting dinner by 3pm. I realize this isn’t possible for everyone, but if you have a babe on your hip as I usually do, starting a “30-minute meal” 3 hours ahead is my best advice. Distractions are reality. When I plan for them I am a bit less crazy.

In the case of this recipe, I caramelize the onions while doing the morning/lunch dishes. Whip up the dressing and store it in the serving bowl in the fridge until close to dinner. Boiling the pasta and grilling the peaches can happen ahead as well, but since those take about 15 minutes or less I usually just do them right before dinner.

What 30-minute dinners do you like to make over the course of the day?

grilled peach close up

Creamy Grilled Peach Pasta Salad
(Serves about 4)

1 onion, minced fine
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil, divided
1 tablespoon dijon mustard
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar, or lemon juice
1 tablespoon honey
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1 teaspoon salt, divided
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 pound pasta, such as rotini, penne, whatever is a bit compact & makes you happy
2 peaches, cut in half and pit removed
1/2 cup fresh basil
1/2 cup feta crumbled (or your favorite nuts, such as walnuts or sliced almonds)

Place the minced onions in a dry skillet over medium heat. Once the onions are sizzling and just barely starting to stick to the pan, reduce the heat to low and add a splash of water. Let the onions continue to cook, tossing occasionally until they start to attain a slightly golden color. Once they appear evenly and lightly golden, add a splash of olive oil and sizzle for a few more minutes. Caramelizing the onions can take a while, so start it and then prepare the other ingredients alongside, just checking on the onions as needed. (Alternatively, see my advice above for making this in parts throughout the day!) Lower the heat if the they appear to get too crispy and add a splash of water as needed if they are sticking too much.

Meanwhile, place a big ol’ pot of water on the stove to boil.

In the salad bowl, add the dijon, white wine vinegar, honey and greek yogurt. Whisk it altogether. Continue whisking and slowly drizzle, drop by drop, half of the olive oil until the dressing is thick and luscious and evenly combined. Season with a couple of pinches of salt until it tastes delicious.

Pour the dry pasta into the boiling water and cook according to the package directions usually about 6-10 minutes until the pasta is el dente.

Meanwhile, heat up your grill pan on high or your oven at about 400. Pour the remaining olive oil in a shallow bowl. Dip the peaches into the oil and coat on both sides. Sprinkle a pinch of salt and pepper on each side, too.

To Grill: Reduce the grill heat to medium-high heat. Sear the peaches on the cut side down for about 5-8 minutes until marks appear. Reduce the heat if the peaches are searing too quickly. Flip over and sear on the round side until the bottoms are just a bit dark and the peaches are sizzling.

Oven: Spread the peaches on a baking sheet and roast for about 10-15 minutes until the edges are getting a bit of color and they are slightly sizzling. You can flip them over half way through, but if you forget, no worries.

Drain the pasta once it is the perfect el dente texture and shake it dry. You can leave it warm (my preference) or cool it down if desired. Toss the pasta in the dressing until it is evenly coated.

Roughly chop the peaches and add to the dressed & coated pasta. Add the feta or nuts and the basil. Fold everything together very gently.

It will store for a week or more… but most likely you will gobble it up sooner!

Cook seasonally. Eat consciously. Celebrate food,

Chef Lilly

Mama has gone Coco-Nutty… Granola

Coco-Nutty low-res

My first-thing-in-the-morning routine is simple: Wake up. Brush my teeth.

When I walk out of the bathroom, my day has begun. This is often my only time alone during the day, unless my baby wakes up and insists on joining me. Regardless, if I do not brush my teeth at this time, it may never happen as I rarely sit still until bedtime, much less have time in the bathroom for such luxurious matters as teeth brushing.

So, this is how the routine started one recent morning. We have a ‘jack & jill’ cabinet that I love, because you can access it from the hallway or the bathroom. This is oh so convenient since we only have one bathroom. But this morning, as I reached in to grab my toothbrush in a groggy state with barely an eye open, suddenly there was a loud whisper and a head poking out on the other side. I did the most natural thing one does in these moments, when one is in a semi-dream like state and then woken by a total creeper:

Blood. Curdling. Scream.

Of course, the creeper was merely my husband and his attempt to keep the children asleep was foiled by me. And my damn scream.

Fast forward just an hour or so, I was still a touch shaken by my only daily little “self-care” routine being so disrupted, and I decided a shower might do the trick. I probably should have considered eating somewhere in there, but since the day began with such a rude alarm, eating did not seem plausible. The baby joined me, because otherwise he just screams and pulls the curtain back: not pleasant. My 4-year old is typically happy to have some time to just hang out alone quietly playing or drawing.

The shower was so calming and relaxing that I finally let the morning melt off me and I let go of my slight low blood sugar. Zed and I climbed out of the shower, me in my fluffy robe, him naked. Ah, here I was: finally ready for my day.

I peaked out, feeling sparkly, and called out to Juliette: “Hey sweetie!”
“Juliette”
“Juliette?”
“Juliette!?”
“Juliette Allison!?”
“Juliette Allison Steirer!?!?”

Of course, I was dashing in and out of every room gathering up more hysteria in my search. After running out to the backyard feeling rather underdressed, I decided the front yard was my only option after one last dash through my house. And who has time really to get dressed when your child is missing?! I ran out, screaming with utter franticness, wearing only a bathrobe and naked baby in tow; a complete spectacle I am sure.

I finally came to the helpless realization that yes, yes indeed the only explanation was quite terrible: she very much had to be completely lost. Gone.

Then I turned around and looked up to see my Juliette, finger in her mouth, leaning on the front door’s frame, twinkle in her eye: “Mama?!”

I am amazed at how many emotions one can feel in a single breath:
Relief.
Happiness.
Anger.
Frustration.
Elation.
Annoyance.
Gratitude.

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I deduced that she was in her bedroom during my manhunt probably tucked in her messy closet, but beyond that I am not certain as to why she did not respond back. We had a little discussion about future times when one calls her name. Anyone, but especially me. Then I decided to get rid of my morning’s low-blood sugar once and for all with my rendition of this Coco-Nutty Granola. Although, I actually didn’t follow that linked recipe or even took a peak at it while I was baking, but it seems unfair not to credit it since it has floated past my pinterest page a bazzillion times it seems. I first made this when we were on a detox, which was grain-free, vegan, no soy, etc. and so breakfasts were challenging us until I whipped up a batch of this. Now we cannot get enough of it.

As Juliette and I sat together peacefully with our bowl of goodness, drenched in freshly made coconut milk, strawberries and berries, she asked me what I was grateful for. This is a common enough question at our mealtimes, but I couldn’t respond until I ate a few more bites and felt my heart palpitations slow a bit. Finally, I looked up and said:

Juliette, I am grateful for you, darling. Always. I love you so much. But, I beg you, never do that to me again. 

_MG_6894My Seedy-Coco-Nutty Make this RIGHT NOW Granola

4 cups of your favorite nuts*: almonds, walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts, cashews, pistachios, brazil nuts (try them all first, because our brazil nuts ended up being weird- typical I realize)
1/2 cup coconut or olive oil or your favorite oil (or even butter… oh decadence, that sounds amazing!)
1/3 cup honey
1/4 cup apple or orange juice
1 tablespoon vanilla or almond extract
1 cup sunflower &/or pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup sesame, chia, poppy &/or hemp seeds (I combined them all!)
1/4 cup flax meal (this helps them stick together.)
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups large coconut flakes

Roughly chop your nuts. Spread on a baking sheet. Preheat the oven to 300 F.

Stir together the oil (you may need to melt it, if using coconut oil or butter), honey, apple juice, and vanilla.  Quick tip: Keep your measuring cup clean(ish) by measuring the oil first in a liquid cup, then the honey, which will slide right out of the lubricated cup and then finish with the apple or orange juice which will hopefully pick up the remaining goop. 

Drizzle the liquid mixture across the nuts and toss.

Toss all of the seeds together with the salt and sprinkle them all over the sticky nuts. Fold in the large coconut flakes. Place in the oven for about 20-30 minutes until they are crunchy. I make this on cool evenings, and typically turn off the oven, leaving them to dry out a bit further into sticky goodness overnight.

* Please note: I soaked my nuts overnight before making the granola, but that is entirely optional. The soaking plumped them up a bit and made me feel like I was somehow stretching this rather expensive cereal into something bigger. Again, it doesn’t make a difference, so do not sweat this step. I share that only for full disclosure.

You certainly can play around with this recipe in so many ways: add spices, longer/shorter bake time, all seeds, no seeds, dried fruit, oats, buckwheat grouts, quinoa, etc. Sky is the limit on this amazing ‘cereal’.

May your morning routines be a bit smoother than ours!

Cook seasonally. Eat consciously. Live well,

Chef Lilly

Distractions & 8 Lessons

Zed says HI! Look at how my Mama lost all that handwork!

Zed says “HI! Look at how my Mama lost all that hard work!  Good thing I am here to distract her and cheer her on.”

Last week, I sat down with homemade crackers, cheese, and wine in our dusty garage to steal away a couple of hours to just bang out some meal plans. And I did! I nearly finished two and got a great start on a few more. Relief! As I wrapped everything up, so proud of myself, my husband and kids knocked on the other side of the garage door announcing my time was done. Zed had been crying, I was clearly missed.

What a great evening!

The next time I sat down to edit and clean everything up after my mad evening of joyful, uninterrupted work:
IT.
WAS.

ALL.
GONE.

I love the program I use to work and write, but after years of it doing auto-save (I swear this was a previous function!), it somehow was re-set? Anyways, I didn’t have a lot of additional time to waste feeling sorry for myself, so I dug in changed the preferences to save EVERY MINUTE! Yes, I would have done ‘save every second’ had that been an option. And then I closed my computer, because the distractions came again.

Attempting to start over after knowing how fabulous (or at least complete!) those meal plans were leaves me a bit sick to my stomach. But, really that time in the garage was golden, even if I have so little to show for it. Maybe I am just not destine to catch up on life. Ever.

So, here I go, starting over. Maybe it will be better. Maybe a touch worse. My poor brain can’t remember any of it. Regardless, I will do my best to make it shiny and new like a freshly scrubbed 1999 quarter. Even though, I want to burst in to tears since it all sounds so damn counterproductive to do my work twice.

Instead I thought I would take a moment to count the lessons (please note: I am way too bitter to call them blessings):

1. Working in the garage, despite the boxes, dust and unpredictable temperature changes can be a lot of fun!
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2. Especially with a glass of wine, grown-up snacks and the heater on my cold toes.

3. Auto-save. Auto-save. And then save it all again after doing the work. Auto-save.

4. Do not let the computer play pandora all day without being plugged in.

5. Alternatively, close & save programs if playing pandora all day without a plug is required, desired or happening against your will.

6. Did I mention auto-save?

7. I am somehow running a business and raising my little ones… all with a bazillion distractions. Yay- Go Me!

8. Find ways to get someone else to deal with the distractions. (Aka hide in the garage, while husband takes over.)

Please share with me the last time you lost a bunch of work that you had happily completed. Anyone else have to learn the double check the auto-save lesson… the hard way? Please tell me I am not alone! Actually, I have a sneaking suspicion this hasn’t been a problem for the majority of the population since 2004, but I am clearly catching up slowly.

Cook seasonally. Eat consciously. Live well,

Chef Lilly

Miracles… from Surgery to Salad

IMG_9592The past couple of weeks have been full of challenges and in between all of the chaos, it has been a joy to receive the miracles. It all started with my husband heading to a conference, which usually leaves me a bit apprehensive about how my children and I will get through our days solo. Partially, because Xerxes offers additional hands for doing chores and caring for our children, but also because his emotional support and kind nature are critical to my personal sanity.

Of course, maybe to keep my mind off of his absence, my evenings were scheduled full of goodness and busy-ness. Looking at my evenings of to-do’s, without much help to make it all happen, made me very nervous. Fortunately, a few days before the week started my Mom and I found a ticket for her to fly out to be with us during this time to help us: the first miracle.

My baby Zed also had an appointment at the start of the week to determine if he would need surgery for a hernia that kept popping out the last few weeks. Low and behold, he did! And asap! After a phone call to Xerxes, we all agreed Friday would be the day, even though he would still be at his conference. Knowing my Mom would be here to help, I was able to breath relief.

As I wandered in to the hospital cafeteria with my two cuties in tow, feeling an aching sensation of concern for the coming Friday and the low-blood sugar of hunger, I looked up to see the mother of one of Juliette’s preschool classmates. I told my tale, and she brightly suggested Juliette spend Friday afternoon with her and her daughter: the second miracle.

The week went on smoothly. The dance classes I taught were made easier knowing my Mom was watching my children. The next day’s opportunity to share Lilly’s Table with Juliette’s preschool was also easier than expected. Again, all because of the extra hands.

Zed playing in the children’s hospital waiting for surgery

The big day arrived too quickly and I found myself most concerned that my husbands’ family history of hernia operations, (three men had a combination of at least seven hernia surgeries!) would mean Zed would have to go through all of this again for the left side as well. Xerxes and I each swore we felt a second hernia, too, which was seemingly undetected by our medical advisors. It was decided that while he was under, the surgeon would check to see if the left side had anything.

Prepping Zed for Surgery I attempted to stomach another meal at the hospital cafeteria during his surgery, which was briefly interrupted when they called to say that YES in fact Xerxes and I were correct. The left side showed a similarly sized hernia that had managed stay hidden. The surgery was a mere 20 minutes longer and future surgeries suddenly became much less likely: the third miracle.

There are certainly more details to this story, but there was another element that I consider the fourth miracle that kept giving to us all week… our garden! It is overflowing with salad greens that need just a kiss of dressing, some sort of protein and a few slices of my sourdough bread to make a meal. Throughout this trying week, I found myself indebted not just to my Mom, but to this greenery that fed and nourished my family during a time when making another trip to the grocery would have simply pushed me over the edge.

I also have to say that this is the first time I have experienced such lushness in my garden. I have historically lamented about my ‘brown thumb’. Even though I love the process of gardening, luck rarely seemed on my side. Until this year. In honesty, I want to say that not everything planted is abundant… yet (fingers crossed). It certainly helps that Xerxes built a hoop house that has extended our rather short Rocky Mountain growing season, too. Thanks Sweetie! 

We all have weeks that push us a bit more than others. I realize gardening with all of its preparations, patience, and unpredictability seems the last thing that will help when life seems to be testing you, but the rewards bring balance to the challenges. Being outside, moving dirt, watering and harvesting when my mind wanted to be fretful kept my spirit calm. My Mom always talks of gardening’s meditative powers and I am finally starting to believe her. Meanwhile eating the powerhouse of nourishing leaves kept my body and family satisfied.

You and I, we are all still at the start of the growing season this spring. I encourage you to prepare a bit of soil. Tuck seeds down into the cozy bed of dirt. Moisten it and wait…
for the miracles.

I offer you this salad dressing recipe as a mini-miracle. Because you may not have the time or space to garden (although, I would love to argue the contrary! If I can do it, you can, too) the very least you can do is make your own dressing. You will save money. You will save your health. You will save your greens from being abused by the chemical liquid combinations that one calls salad dressing.

Start with your large salad bowl. Place the greens, washed and dried on stand-by.

Dip your whisk into your favorite dijon mustard. Pull out a dollop. Place it in the large bowl. Add about twice the amount of balsamic vinegar. Drizzle in just a slight swirl of honey or maple syrup. Beat the small amount of ingredients together smearing it all over the bowl.
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Take a generous pinch of salt. With your hand high above the bowl sprinkle it all over, dusting the tiny base of your dressing.

Grab the olive oil, again high above the bowl, pour it gently in a steady stream that is just a bit more steady than a drip, drip, drip, drip…. As the olive oil trills in slowly, madly beat your whisk to incorporate the fat into the molecules of your dressing. It will start to thicken. The dark balsamic will become lighter in color, or dare I say fluffier in appearance. Stop pouring the olive oil to rest your beating hand and to taste. Does it need more salt?

Sweetness?                    Vinegar?                   Add accordingly.

Too tangy?              More olive oil is needed.

Add olive oil again as you pour with one hand and beat with the other. Taste. Adjust until you are satisfied. Taste. I trust your tastebuds. Just as you should trust your own.

Now, I often pour out about half of my dressing in to a small dish to reserve for later. Next I add the greens and with a spatula fold them lightly into the dressing. I add more dressing to the top as needed. Swirling it above, again high, until each leaf receives a simple kiss of goodness.

Nuts & seeds, shreds of veggies, pieces of fruit, dried, fresh, never frozen, or even bits and pieces of your favorite leftovers can serve to complete your salad, but really…

It is all about the greens and the dressing. May this serve as a simple little miracle for your day.

And for all of you who rather work with measurements, here is the list of ingredients:

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
2 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon honey or maple syrup
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (more or less as desired)
1/4 teaspoon salt & black pepper

Whisk together the mustard, vinegar and sweetener. While beating wildly, drizzle in the olive oil until the dressing is slightly thick and tastes delicious. Season with salt and pepper.

Cook seasonally. Eat consciously. Live blessed,

Chef Lilly

photo (30)

Please welcome guest blogger, Dr. Kaycie Rosen Grigel of Golden Naturopathic Clinic

“Rhubarb is, as we know, the secret of the good life”–Garrison Keillor

The above picture expresses my feeling about rhubarb: One pie, one fork please.  When I heard that quote above on Prairie Home Companion this weekend it just summed it up for me.  There is something special about this hardy, massive plant that just bursts out of the garden shouting “Welcome back to fresh food!”

 We have been battling the critters and the weather out in the garden this year so the pickings right now are slim, but we have a bumper crop of rhubarb which is just begging to become a tart, delicious dessert.  Crumbles are the perfect mix of really easy, kinda decadent and pretty healthy, so you  can throw it together quickly and don’t have to feel bad about having it with yogurt for breakfast the next morning.

Rhubarb Strawberry Crisp (Gluten Free)

Serves 1, or 8-10

filling:
4 cups chopped rhubarb
2 cups sliced strawberries
1/2 cup honey or maple syrup
1 Tbsp corn starch

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Crumble topping:
1 1/2 cups rolled or minute oats
1/3 cup almond meal
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/4 cup potato starch
1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp milk of choice
6 Tbsp melted butter or oil

Preheat oven to 375.  Mix filling ingredients together and put into a deep dish pie plate.  Mix crumble ingredients together until they stick together in little, well, crumbles. If it’s too dry you can add a bit more milk.  Apply evenly atop the filling.  Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until the filling bubbles out the top.

Balsamic Quinoa Salad is quick and satisfying

As a follow-up to my last post, I wanted to talk a bit about how we manage our “no cooking indoors” rule during hot summer nights.  As the mother of two rapidly growing girls and the wife of a guy with the fastest metabolism in the West, the lovely cold soup paired with a beautiful green salad that would tantalize my girlfriends simply isn’t an option.  We need protein, healthy fats, and complex carbs to fuel the furnaces in this house.

One of the strategies we use here is to give our salads some heft by making them from a base of whole grains and legumes.  The rice cooker on the deck is used for brown rice salads, or else I’ll make a large pot of quinoa or beans early in the week and then use it in multiple ways in the days that follow.  In a pinch, I also keep several different types of canned beans in the pantry. (there is no comparison between canned and homemade beans, and the pressure cooker whips up those babies pretty quick, but let’s be realistic here, sometimes we all need canned beans.)

Grain salads are so easy and satisfying, and are incredibly versatile and can easily be adapted to whatever you have lying around the house.  My basic guidelines for grain salads are as follows:

2 cups cooked grains
2 cups cooked beans (or one can)
2 cups chopped vegetables
½ cup chopped fresh fruit or ¼ cup dried fruit
¼ cup chopped fresh herbs
¼ cup toasted chopped nuts or seeds
2-3 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp vinegar or juice of ½-1 lemon or lime
salt and pepper to taste

For picky kids or infants over 8 months, you can serve cooked rice or quinoa, beans, and fruits or veggies as separate items without dressing.
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The version of this recipe as pictured above:
Balsamic Quinoa Salad

2 cups cooked quinoa
1 can drained garbanzo beans
¼ cup chopped, toasted almonds
1 chopped carrot
1 large chopped stalk of celery
½ chopped red bell pepper
¼ cup sliced kalamata olives
¼ cup chopped chives (with flowers) and dill
3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 Tbsp grated parmesan
2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients and enjoy!

Here in Colorado we’re not quite ready for harvest!

I was leading a medicinal plant walk today through the woods next to my daughter’s school, and one of the kids asked me “what’s the difference between a food and a medicine?”  Ah, I love it when people ask the right question!  In summary, especially when we’re talking about plants the basic difference is that you’re probably not going to be able to make a salad out of a medicinal plant because the chemical constituents are concentrated enough that if you eat enough of it to get caloric benefit it will be either too strong a taste or not good for you.  Another girl then asked the perfect follow-up question: “but can a plant be a food AND a medicine?”

Well of course.  There would be no use for this website otherwise, now would there?  So let’s talk today about one of my favorite medicinal foods; strawberries.  In my line of work, I get to see a good portion of what’s out there on the natural supplement market, either in my own research or through patients, friends, and acquaintances who share their favorites.  Of all the products I see, especially on the multilevel marketing lines, I most frequently see powders and drinks boasting that they contain “superfoods” that have such high concentrations of bioflavonoids just a shot a day will cure heart disease, prevent cancer, reverse diabetes and keep you endlessly young.

Mostly the superfoods in the products mentioned above are deep red and purple berries and fruits from foreign lands.  They do, no doubt, contain high level of antioxidant flavonoids, and these types of chemicals are extremely important for maintaining healthy artery walls and preventing reversing cellular and DNA damage that can lead to cancers.  However, we have super foods that are fresh and locally grown, often right here in our backyard.
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Strawberries are our first berries of the season here in North America, and they contain some of the highest concentration of bioflavonoids of any fruit in the world.  They often top the list of anticancer foods, and the anthocyanadins have been shown to be good at reducing inflammation and pain.  Because they have such high vitamin C content, it is best to eat them fresh and raw to maintain optimal nutritional value.

I do have to point out though, strawberries are one food that I highly recommend eating organic.  Strawberries are highly susceptible to mold and pests, so there are many possible pesticides and fungicides that may be used on strawberries.  Local strawberries are even better, because once they are on the truck, there will be an antifungal “bomb” released in the truck to keep them fresh for transport.  Some good news on this front is that just this March a commonly used pesticide, metlyl iodide, was pulled from the market for use in California.  Methyl iodide is a potent neurotoxin that has been shown to inhibit brain and nerve development for fetuses and young children.  Even so, strawberries are always on the list of the “dirty dozen” because over 60 possible chemicals are used in conventional production.

So, happy late spring to you–enjoy our first fruit of the season!  How lucky for us that we have strawberries as food, as medicine, as our very own superfood.