When I look back on 2015, I find myself overwhelmed. I set an intention at the start of the year that it would be for loving. That indeed it was. However, the lessons surrounding the word loving were quite different than I imagined this time a year ago.
What I learned through this intention of loving is that it has a way of breaking your heart wide open, often into a thousand little pieces that need to be picked up and placed back together in an entirely new way. My heart and soul, seemed on a humpty-dumpty mission in 2015.
The fragility of letting my heart lead meant today, while I am a bit patchworked together, I feel incredibly humbled by all of what happened and who I am now as a result. Community, near and far, became a critical part of sewing me back to together and I now find myself a layer deeper. Almost as if the past year’s experience exfoliated my soul a bit.
In addition, the innocence of the moment, those sweet in-betweens, brought me closer to mending my heart than any grandiose attempts on my part. The silence was critical and while I often fight the quiet moments, I find myself craving a bit more peace in 2016.
In the new year I want to be something a bit stronger than I was this past year. I also suspect that the foreshadowing events coming my way are not necessarily a peaceful river– even if I crave some reprieve. What I need this year is heart and strength to get me through any big rapids so that I can gently float into the waves that will allow me to still see the goodness. The love.
As Brene Brown states: “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.”
When I look to 2016, I feel courage will be my guiding force.
Can I be honest, though? I am a bit freaked out about this new intention I am setting.
After ‘loving’ left me often more vulnerable and fragile, a strong word such as courage sounds as if it will not disappoint on this crazy adventure we call life. Letting the world know I am ready to show up, be seen and let my heart lead me into frontiers yet unknown doesn’t exactly feel like cozying up to a warm cup of goodness. But, then having the courage to sit still and be present can also be an act of defiance. At least for me and my busy way of distracting myself with thoughts that keep me small, unassuming and in the backseat of life, when I know there is something brighter, better that I am capable of sharing.
I am ready to take up a bit more space and shout out a bit louder about the truths that I know. While I’d like to think I have the entire year to expose my heart, I want to start by saying I feel more strongly that love does really conquer all. (What a smashingly gorgeous cliche!?) And that your perspective matters. Rose-colored glasses may feel naive, but a loving outlook will answer the question deeper and more profoundly than allowing ourselves to only see the world at face value through our own distorted lens.
As I embrace ‘courage’, the first required step indeed feels like a public announcement. So here I am! May I have the strength to share more etchings of my heart with you this year.
And now you. Dear friend…
What intention or word have you set for 2016? What color of glasses do you plan to wear this year? Let me know how I can support your journey through 2016.
In order to be brave this year, I am pretty sure I will need you nearby. Let’s love 2016 together.
Happy New Year sweet one! With love + courage,